Comedy Corner · Issue III
Splooting Squirrels

Have you noticed the intense heat recently, even though it's already October? Like many others, I have found myself fatigued due to the sultriness. Well, we're not the only ones trying to beat the heat and avoid drowsiness. None other than squirrels have been found to be flopping all over Southern California. This act has caused the entire squirrel community to gain massive amounts of popularity for the perceived plopping around.
When I first noticed this bizarre phenomenon, quick research pointed to this planking as a cooling method for squirrels; while it is a bit hard to believe, it is true. This act of squirrels laying splayed out, also known as splooting, helps squirrels reduce their body temperatures since they do not have the ability to sweat like humans. According to Dan Blumstein, an ecology professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, “Many mammals have less fur on their bellies compared to the rest of their body, so on hot days the animals will lie flat on their stomach against cooler surfaces, such as rocks or cooler ground, to shed some heat and keep cool”.
During the Fall months, squirrels typically begin initial preparations for winter, but with the sweltering heat, squirrels have decided to just take a break on the pavement and literally chill out. So if these squirrels are going to make their winter deadline they better lock in and secure some nuts! No more procrastination and lethargy.
If you're ever feeling too hot or maybe your air conditioning is not pumping out cool enough air, go on outside and find a squirrel to sploot with.
DISCLAIMER!: DO NOT SPLOOT WITH SQUIRRELS, YOU ARE NOT DR. DOLITTLE
...
Seriously though, it's not a good idea; do NOT do it

